So, it is two in the morning, and yet again, I am sitting at the computer with my thoughts all swirling around in my head. This is becoming a more frequent, and honestly, exhausting habit. I am not getting done what needs to be done because my sleep schedules are too far off. There really isn't a fix. Some of what is causing this is that stupid super moon. While I find the pictures amazing, it has been messing with me for days. A fraction of it comes from the pressure changes coming from this atypical storm moving into the area. Personally, I think this last week has been against us. Between the summer solstice, the super moon, the storm system, and the unavoidable schedule deviations, it's just been a recipe for disaster in our house.
We had two fish die on us in three days and sea monkeys that rose from the dead. We had appointments all Wednesday, which messed up our schedule and pushed our river day to Thursday. By that day, the moon's effects were already taking hold of me. I was weepy and out of control. I nearly got into a fight with a lady at walmart, going so far as to shove her groceries off the belt. I managed to get into it with family over a function I was supposed to attend. They think I have commitment issues. What is so irritating is that I don't. What I have is two kids with autism that make sticking to plans nearly impossible. As predicted, I was not able to make it. I have yet to face the firing squad for that, though I have no doubts that it is coming. I had intended to go. The guilt trip about me not going was a good one, but stuff happens.
The day of the family thing, I went to get the kids medicine. They had billed the primary wrong. I fixed that. Turns out the technician at the pharmacy was a complete idiot. That didn't help. Apparently, my son's secondary insurance has issued him a different card, though they failed to mention it to me. I came home in tears, not sure what this would mean for my family or my job, since it is all tied in. I called the pharmacy back with his social asking them to do an eligibility check, which takes a total of two minutes, even for the absolutely challenged. Half an hour later, I had to call back, only to find out they hadn't done it. They did it in a minute with me on the phone, and miracle of miracles, it went through. That was a huge relief, but by the time I had gotten it all straightened out, it was half past the hour that I was to attend.
Given that fact, we chose to take the children out and run them wild. It was a good day and we had a good time, but I was out of sorts, just as I still am. That damned super moon was and is still messing with me. I have been pretty stable since then, though I did sleep really late today. I think I may be coming down with a summer cold. I was relaxing this evening when I realized that the Supreme Court ruling has to come through this week. While I am excited at the prospect of progress, I am also worried. It is the federal case that has me worried. If they overturn Prop 8, I will be excited and it won't change much here, but if they over turn the case that deals with social security, our family will actually see a negative impact. While I want the equal rights, I know that my job is on the line with that one. As long as the federal government does not recognize gay marriage, they don't recognize Puck's income. We struggle as it is, and I worry about it.
That very well could be what has me up so late this evening. I am the one that worries before there is reason to worry. It means that I don't have to worry about it when it does happen and that I am pleasantly surprised when it doesn't. I know that this may sound back assward to most people, but it is how I function. I don't know that it honestly makes a difference, and I know it drives Puck crazy, but I am who I am.
Wow, I read this and realize this might be the first blog in a long time that isn't deep thinking. It is just me relating how our week went and some of my thoughts. That is progress on my part. I was able to write without a deeper meaning or deep reflection. I think that I enjoy that. There were no real hard lessons, other than the fish this week. The funerals for the fish were hard. It is really difficult to watch your baby girl pray over her fish and ask that her sister, who is in heaven, take care of it. Other than that, it was a typical full moon week. We all went nuts. We all had our hard moments where we lost ourselves and our cool. Hopefully, like the last really bad one, it will just magically be better tomorrow, or this morning as it may be. I don't hold many illusions for that, seeing as there are pressure changes and storms rolling in, but I like to think it might. Ever optimistic, when I am not freaking out over what might be anyway! So, I guess I am going to lie down, try to get some sleep, and hope that tomorrow is better than the last few days have been.
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