Ok, so this really isn't a day in the life of me blog. It's
more like how I see life. So someone close to me and I were
talking and many things came as revelations for us. First and
foremost, age doesn't mean wisdom. It really doesn't. For the
two of us, who have seen so much in six, almost seven years, we find that often. When it comes to the deeper
side of life, we just have been through so much. I got rather
riled up today, for no other reason, I think, than because I can, and I realized a few things.
Beauty really isn't about the
skin you are prancing around in. That isn't what matters. What
matters are those that can see past themselves and really
give, because beauty is a gift. There is no point in having it
if you aren't giving it away. See, the thing is, I can think of a
few people that I know like this, but have you ever met those
people that are so shallow and so involved in themselves that you
swear, if you cracked them open it would be empty, or
worse? Like those people that open their mouths and the void sucks
you in because they are so dark and discontent and empty that they
spew confusion and discord without even a sound. Yeah, those
people. Does it really matter what they look like? Should they
really be called beautiful? Because, really, we wear the hell
out of our skin! What good does it do to pamper it, if the inside is
rotting? Sure, I might choose an apple because it looks good, but I sure as hell am not going to eat it, if it is decaying inside.
Then, I also was thinking about love and how, we as a
society, put it in this little box with instructions. Let me
tell you something. A vast majority of people in this world will
probably never learn how to really love, not the way that God created
it. We use the term unconditionally so loosely now, but is it the
truth? And why do they say that we can only be in love with one
person? If we have the capacity, then who is wrong: The
person who truly loves, or the person who stands by and judges
whether someone is loved? I am loved more deeply than I could
ever imagine. I love the same way. When
someone says love, I think of flames igniting inside me. The
compulsion to be or do the best. The willingness to really put
yourself behind for that person. The absolute need to see them happy,
even if it makes you sad. That is where my soon to be ex and I are. I
need to see him happy though I don't think I can do that for him. I
need to see Puck do what is right and what is going to make Puck
happy even if it means sacrificing myself. Because, what is love if
nothing but a huge sacrifice? What is life if we aren't
willing or open to a little sadness, hurt, and heartache, just for the
chance that we could be truly happy? Because, as much as it
hurts, did you ever think that maybe all that comes before is in
preparation for the happiness you have always yearned for?
But, we don't
create happiness, so how do we get there.? Well, first and
foremost, know who you are. Because, how can we connect when there
is nothing in ourselves to connect to? The next part is the easy
part. Don't go looking. If you are truly happy with your life,
the way you are, happiness will find you. Through
everything, isn't that what we all deserve? So, I have
decided that when I meet someone shallow, or someone so discontent
with themselves they feel the need to project, I am not going to
get mad. I'm just going to hope and pray that someday, they can
understand love and happiness like I have. I might be a
little odd., but nobody said I wasn't But I am happy. At least
most days.....
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