Don't "Recommend" Things to Me....Ever

Last night when I opened my teacher's manual for SS's math, I was hit with major anxiety. The curriculum isn't hard, but it also is something I am not familiar with. I skimmed it and decided that even though it was not the way I was used to teaching, it could be a very good thing for her. So, I opened the other ridiculously large binder that has the instructions on how to use the materials and get set up. Guess what! The package didn't come with any of the cut outs or needed things for the MAIN teaching tool. Normally, I would have just said fine and called the county to get the materials, but at this point, I was just irritated. I seem to always be irritated with them.

They switched teachers on me again this year via email, no less. They are always complaining that I don't teach exactly the same way that they would. I add too much. I don't run a traditional classroom setting. I teach more lessons outside than in, therefore creating less of a paper trail. I get that it is hard to monitor what a child is learning without a paper trail, but I think that the experiences they get out of it are far more than a book could ever teach. They never call to let me know if something is going on, despite knowing both kids have ASD. They just let it ride. It makes me so frustrated, and honestly, I start doing things to irritate them on purpose.

So, back to this board that I should have all the materials for. I don't. I am looking at this lay out and thinking, "That is a lot of work." Then I looked at the boring thing again. It's all primary colored and honestly, it has no personality. It literally looks like it walked out of the classroom. Well, I don't have a classroom. I have my house. I don't want to pin it to a wall. I want to teach wherever the lesson takes me. This board is supposed to be mounted to the wall and used like some standard school board would. Well, I don't do standard school. If I wanted standard school, then I would have put her back in that joke they call a school this year. So, what do I do? Take a trip to Walmart.

Going to that pit is never good, but on the week school starts, the chances of jail time increase exponentially. I did get in and out in a decent amount of time. I didn't kill anybody. I also came out with kick ass materials and a totally different idea of what this board should look like and how it should function. I maintained the integrity of it, kept all the mandatory items, and threw out the "recommendations" of the curriculum. Yeah, I did that. I also created a crap load of work to do, but in keeping with my traditions of schooling, it was so worth. it. Plus, it will really give the new teacher a good look at what and WHO she is dealing with. I won't teach it the way you want if it won't get through. I will teach it the way my kid will get it. I will be stupid and make horrid jokes, just to get the point across.

The recommended board is 13 ft. long. NO! My board is at best a little over 3 feet. It is supposed to span a wall and hang there, all boring like. NO! My board is tri-fold, portable, and easy to reach. They wanted a light blue background with yellow accents, like a standard school board should be. NO! I bought a black board and neon blue trimming. They wanted all calm and peaceful coloring for the details. NOPE! I totally used every bright color I could find, while avoiding primary colors as much as possible. I HAND MADE every component of that board, including a number chart, multiplication charts, and a clock, to name a few. It took me hours. I laminated all the stuff we should need to write on. I bought clear polish to prime the back board for anything stuck to it so that I can re use it again if I have to. I went above and beyond to create something for my child that wasn't boring and could be used to teach in a way SHE will learn. Is it going to piss off the teacher? Probably. If that happens, am I going to laugh? Absolutely. Is it in anyway missing anything that it was required to have? No, it isn't. Will it help my child better than the "recommended board?" Yes, it will.

I guess the lesson here is, if you are going to continue to push my and my child's buttons with your constant changes and lack of understanding, then I am going to hit you where it hurts you the most. I will proudly walk in there this week, at the new time, with the new teacher, carrying this thing. I will then politely ask if this is what they had in mind. Some of that is making sure I got it right, but the rest, pure entertainment value on my part. I am not the monkey in your pocket. I will not be a puppet that you can pull strings on. I will teach the assigned materials to their full extent, but you will not tell me HOW I teach them. You will sit back and watch magic unfold before your eyes. You may be the teacher, but I am the parent. I know my kid. My kid knows me. If you intend to survive this school year with your sanity in tact, I suggest you get to know us both. Otherwise, it is going to be a very rough year for you.