Judgement

Bridging the gap between an NT parent and ASD kid is not easy. Sometimes it feel like Grand Canyon stands between us. Bridging the gap between an NT parent and two ASD kids, sometimes feels impossible. It's damned frustrating. It's isolating for everyone, but for the parents, it is agony. We sit back and watch our children falter and struggle for their communications footing, while we torture ourselves for not being able to reach them. Sometimes, they hit, bite, throw things, and yell. That is their way of letting us know they are frustrated, or trying to get through to us, but what do we have?

As parents, we are expected to be perfect. Society sees the model parent as one that never cusses, yells, or shows their child any sort of negativity. Reality is so different. Most of us have let a bad word slip, or secretly hoped stubbing their toe in their flared tempered stomp down the hall hurt a little. We can't all be perfect. As a matter of fact, most of us are not, but we pretend to be. In our quest for acceptance into society, we act, do, and say things that are not really how we are. As a group of parents (for the most part) of kids on the spectrum, you would expect us all to be understanding.

We should be banding together, regardless of race, religion, sex, political views, or sexual preferences. No matter our background or our beliefs, we all have one very important thing in common. Autism has affected us all in some way. Being that we all understand how different our lives can be, and how unforgiving the world can be about things that don't quite fit in, it baffles me when there is judgement. EVERY child is different, which means every family has a different strategy. That being said, how can we expect the world to accept autism if we can't accept each other?

A month ago, I changed the picture on the page to a pro marriage equality photo. I knew that not everyone agreed with that, but I was absolutely shocked that we lost so many people over it. I knew we would lose one or two, but it hit our page pretty hard. Since then, we have bounced back, but it hit home for me. Just days before autism awareness month kicked off, our page decided to show support for another group of individuals who struggle with acceptance as well, and the negative reaction was astounding. Some of the members we lost were people that I thought so much of. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, but how is it that we are supposed to be warriors for our kids and fight for acceptance for them, and be so blind to others struggles for the same thing.

A few days ago, I said I was that mom. I am that mom that will fight for their kids to the end of the earth, but maybe I should have elaborated on that. I am a mother and wife, first and foremost, but I should take it further. I am that person. I am the person who will reach out and support a struggling individual. I will fight for acceptance for everyone, because whether they have autism or not, each group of people fighting for a right is composed of individuals who hurt, feel, and love just like I do. I will always support humanity, and the rights of the individual. How can I not? I fight everyday for rights for my child, who to some, think it would have been a kindness to put in a home, or not have at all, knowing the risks. Those people hurt me with their negative attitude toward my children whom I love more than life, so what does it say about me as a person if I pass the same judgement on someone else.

I guess what I am saying is, for me to pass judgement on what someone says, how they vent, what they believe, who they love, or what they want to do with their life, is incredibly hypocritical of me, in my mind. So, I choose not to. I know that not everyone can be as open minded, or even open about how they feel about things as me, for whatever reason, but I am asking that those that treat with me please remember that I am not here to judge you, nor or those here with me here for you to judge.