What the HELL is wrong with society today!?! What happened to adults that took responsibility? Where are the children that have been taught that standing by and doing nothing is the same as participating? There is this huge push in the media for anti-bullying, but it seems to me that it has gotten WORSE! Are these parents out there showing their kids the programs without taking the time AS PARENTS to explain why we don't do it or the importance of the program? Has anyone done a recent study on whether most children these days even recognize morality? Most kids know right and wrong, but do they know WHY it is right or wrong? I am so tired of parents sitting on their asses, never teaching their children and expecting the school to teach them everything. Then, they have the nerve to blame the school for their child's misbehavior. BITCH, please!
My daughter came home today in full blown hysterics. I saw it the moment she stepped off the bus. Snot all over the place and sobbing. The bus driver didn't ask or stop her. The bus driver just let her walk on by. She was not quietly crying or looking sad. She was freaking broken. I put down everything I had in my hands in the middle of the street and got down to her level and pulled her in. The other parents were looking at me like I was the alien here, but come on! I don't care if your kid is neurotypical or not. If they are crying like that, you get down in it. The other kids getting off the bus were not at all surprised to see her crying. They KNEW she had been, you could see it.
Now, my temper is something I work very hard to keep in check, but with all of this going on, I am losing it rapidly. So, in order to ground myself, I pull my child tighter. I ask her what happened. She tells me that kids were mean to her at school today and on the bus. One kid even hit her. Now, my daughter has SPD and I know that sometimes what she physically feels isn't always how it went, but I try to give her the benefit of the doubt. Turns out, it's a damn good thing I do. I pulled her away from me, so as to hear a bit better what had happened. (It is really hard to hear through a snot covered, soaked from sobbing, t-shirt.) I look at her. She has a swollen lip. OK! NO! I admit, it isn't bleeding or that swollen, but it is swollen. Temper starts flaring again.
During this whole exchange, not ONE parent, or child for that matter, has even asked what happened or why she is crying. We meet at this bus stop every day. We have for two years. There are about ten of us. We know the kids, talk to each other, and share basic social things. So, here is my daughter, barely able to speak a sentence she is so upset, and they all walk by. You know what, FUCK YOU! The only name my daughter COULD give me was not unexpected. The only other child on the bus with a disability. The two are constantly at odds. Unfortunately, his mother also has a mental disability, so it makes addressing it very hard, though it has been addressed before.
I finally got her home, gave her her favorite fruit, and suspended the rules for the day. I am alone again this evening, due to Puck having left for work before I got back from the bus stop and I am not going to push her. As a parent of ASD kids, you just have to know when the battle is lost. For me, the battle over chores and tv was lost the minute she got off that bus.
I could call the school. I could call the bus garage. I could e-mail her teacher. Have I? No. EVERY TIME I do, they tell me it will be handled. That there is a no tolerance policy in place. Nothing is ever done and my daughter continues to pay the price. I will be calling about the physical injury, but don't expect anything to come of it. I won't let that happen anymore. Next year, my daughter will join the ranks of my son, at home with school. This was it for me!
It still begs the question, what are parents teaching their kids these days? I used to get in trouble for saying I hate people, but sometimes, I really really do! How can you not? Most of society have abandoned their kids to video games and let the schools raise them. I am proud to say that I am not one of those parents. I will never abandon my child. I will always do the right thing over the easy thing! ALWAYS! I will always strive to teach them that wrong is wrong. They will know that doing nothing when others are being bullied or hurt, is the same as doing it themselves. The children on the wrong side of the bullying crowd still crave friendship and still need people to lean on. Unfortunately, a lot of them don't have that in their parents. It's not alright! At least once a week, we still do family night. We suspend all activities, turn down all invites, and spend time as a family. This should be happening in more families. Society isn't going to raise our kids, and they sure as HELL aren't going to teach them morality. That is our job as parents. While the anti-bullying campaign is a wonderful idea, it doesn't accomplish anything if parents aren't educating and helping their children, and quite often themselves, as well.
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